Colours...

The Philosphy of the Nature of Colours was a really interesting post by my friend, Ash, quite some time back. Nice colour chart by the way. And I am apparently Black / Blue. =p

I've been thinking about it a lot more recently though. I act pretty different around different people -> you really wouldn't know me sometimes. Really.

I think that, crazy as it sounds, I am all things. I may seem good, but really, I may also have evil desires that would shock you. I may seem like I look out for others, but really given the right moment I would betray everyone for my own sake. I may not look artistic but sometimes I surprise myself. I know I can be all these things if I wanted to. Life is about control then. Or should I say, life is about Choice.

I'm confusing myself further. Let's say that sad circumstances surround my life at this point in time. What if I am able to turn my mind away from these things, and wham, suddenly I'm perfectly happy. Is there a difference between genuine happiness and this?

We've already established (or I hope you know) that happiness is a relative concept. You cannot know happiness without knowing sadness. Just like how brightness has no meaning without darkness. So in that case, anyone in almost any situation CAN have a valid reason to be happy.

If so, then it follows that perhaps happiness is a choice as well. Since the current circumstances don't actually matter... at any point, you could be happy or sad depending on how you got there (sliding down from a position of "higher" happiness or climbing upwards from a position of "lower" happiness)... and if you could mislead yourself into feeling happy, well that would be ideal.

I would say then that happiness is a matter of choice, and control over your own life. Just like how the character colors we show to other people are also perhaps, a matter of choice. My friend has said I am black/blue : so I am selfish, self serving, relentless in pursuit of knowledge and excellence. Brutality to survive? Perhaps. Cold impassionate logic? Holy shit yes, that's what this whole post is about. I'm being brutal to those who pity themselves, because I know I used to do that before, and it doesn't do any good.

Blogging here on the internet, far outside the confines of normal social conduct, allows me to reveal other aspects of me that perhaps you wouldn't suspect had we just lived our lives out there in the real world. I know my post about the hot girl attracted some attention from my regular (lurker) readers from years back. Well, screw that : this is my online identity and I can be as honest or as fake as I want to be. I write these things down because it amuses me to do so, nothing more and nothing less. There are parts of me that likes to stare at pretty girls as they walk by in Uni and there are parts of me that couldn't care less about a pretty face. Those of you who know me, you'll know the real me without having to rely on this blog.

Phew. And about the picture : it's a picture taken in Crown Casino, with no photo editing done to it. Very cool colours.