Thursday

randomly feeling annoyed

Today = not good.

Too much thinking. And I was feeling annoyed for no good reason. Well no. Sure, waiting for 45 minutes for dinner might be it but I doubt so, I would normally shrug it off.

I wrote about two pages before realising that I can't possibly post any of it.

This leads on to some other thoughts : how much do you guys tell your best friends? I don't have any particularly close friends, hence most my life's story remains with me alone. I'm thinking right now about something that happened about 5 or 6 years ago. I think I told one person the full story, and that was because she demanded to know =p

What happened is I quite resolutely kept my silence and all our common friends got the story from the other party involved. At most, I said as much as I safely knew was common knowledge.

When something involves several people, the burden of privacy is multiplied rather than being shared out. You can't tell anyone your part of it without involving other people's lives, other people's secrets. This is like the prisoners dilemma : you can save yourself, and doom the other person, or you can both trust naively that you will both act in each others interests.

Someone once told me a long time ago : if your friends are the type to be satisfied without hearing both sides of the story, then they aren't worth having, so you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.

I try to believe that but it's hard. Sometimes you just want to say what you really feel, make excuses and justifications, just to make yourself look better.

Whoever said that I'm the sort of person who doesn't care much about what other people think of him... maybe they mean something else.

-_-

3 comments:

Xany said...

Lol... I was wondering why you seemed so quiet. :P

To be honest I don't often tell people things of that kind ('secrets' that involve other people, I mean) - partially because it's like, this isn't just my story to tell, partially because it sometimes just doesn't occur to me to share. Hah. Obviously there'd be more to it, exceptions and so on, but most of the time ... yeah.

Though yeah, if a good friend was astute enough to ask, I'd probably talk about it, at least in broad terms. *shrug*

as for getting both sides of the story, I guess it's like what flamebreaker said. Sometimes they'll be 'satisfied' until you're ready to talk about it, or something.

Ash said...

lol. the closest mark has ever got to sharing something really private on his blog. I was quite surprised thinking you were about to do that. XD

hmmm... I'm just gonna pass it off as you were having an irritable day. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed as such.

I don't understand what kim hon just said :P

But yess... if you feel you keep too many things to yourself open up! People aren't that terrible (yes kim hon I know I know you don't agree) but I think so. And if you are alright keeping it to yourself then keep it. Don't complicate matters :)

Anonymous said...

sometimes it's just that what you're trying to say gets misconstrued, and people end up getting the wrong idea... so yeah, i just keep most of it to myself...

though that's what little black books and bartenders are for...

and sometimes having close friends might not be that good an idea... i tell my best friend something, he tells his wife, and she tells the whole neighbourhood... o_O

PS. if you're looking for help in improving relationships, click the link on my name ^_^