free will and other ramblings

I had a strange dream. Waking up from one of these is like rushing to the surface after being drowned, bursting upwards and outwards gasping for air.

I blame the alcohol (it's the easiest thing to blame for all the world's ills). I had a few glasses of remarkably good white wine, which I really enjoyed.

I rather suspect the quality of my speech, or my voice inflection changes when I have been drinking. No one has yet told me this, so I don't know if I am just imagining things. This is the problem with subjective reality.

For example, in a dream : do you actually have free will, or do you just think you have free will? Are you responsible for your actions while you are asleep? Does the fact you are willing to commit a cold blooded murder of your rival in real life while asleep indicate your true feelings and intentions, or are they like watching movies you truly have no control over?

I know for sure we are likely to dream about the things and people we obsess about the most. And for dreams about people we know, they probably act in character, exactly how we expect them to act.

So perhaps a more revealing feature of dreams is not what YOU do, but rather how other people act towards you.

So in this dream I am walking past the train station, and I meet an old friend I hadn't seen or thought about in years, and she gives me a hug. Simple everyday actions are infused with feelings in dreams : and this hug tasted of desperation.