some musings on human behaviour

Two part post now, first some musings then a story about some online drama I am involved in.

It's misleading, how everything thinks they are right when they argue something. How do you know when you're truly right, when you have a watertight argument?

If there are any holes in your arguments, you will instantly get people jumping down your throat pointing them out. If people cannot find any factual loopholes to get you with, they will resort to making general blanket statements like "grow up" or else try to muddy the issue by bringing outside factors or issues to play.

Makes sense. In real life, it's the government opposition who are the most vocal, and the supporters playing the part of the silent majority. You never post up an issue for public discussion unless you deliberately desire negative responses, because you will almost never get positive responses.

There was a website once that catalogued all the ways you could argue and counter-argue something, but I'll be darned if I can remember what it was.

Quite often doing things wrongly teaches you more than doing things the right way. It might be worthwhile, after stumbling upon how to do things correctly, to deliberately do things wrongly the next time to see how it goes. There's probably just as much to be learned from mistakes as successes, as long as the price you have to pay for doing things the wrong way is within your budget.

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I have just viciously attacked and hurt someone on an online forum, with so much venom that the forum moderator deleted my thread. I had a valid issue, there was an injustice done to me, and I blew it out of proportion and turned it into a vicious character assasination. The smart thing would have been to play the victim : instead I let loose everything I had on him. Everything I said was absolutely true : no one could rebutt anything I said : and here is the kicker - in the end I wanted the thread deleted, because even I don't believe that anyone deserves to have those things said about them, especially more so because they're all true. If they were false accusations I could just say "they're not true, I'm really sorry I said them, I didnt mean them" but in this case I could not - and so in retrospect, I am really glad the forum moderator deleted my post.

I did it in such a vicious manner that most members had no choice but to censor me for my actions, and the original valid issue was completely lost. But I had achieved my objective.

I don't post without careful forethought. There are ways and ways in which you can force people to do things without seeming to, ways in which you can turn a situation to your advantage.

As an aside - this person considered me his friend, mentor, and senior. The most fatal position to be in, really - he thinks I am his friend, but I don't think of him that way, and I know it.

Of course the best way to truly achieve vengeance is not to leave in disgust, but to stay, suck up to them and prove your loyalty, pretend to be friends until you are close enough to stab them in the back and deal the killing blow. Backing away and declaring you are enemies, pshaw, that's the easy way out, that only stupid and honourable people do. Why quit when you can stay and destroy them from the inside? Surely, they think, a friendship that survives an argument, has some substance and has to be more real than ever?

I had the opportunity to cause division and split within the guild. I only had to push a little further, and then I would have severely weakened the guild with the loss of this member. If the guild leadership had enough guts I think they should have chosen to sacrifice me instead, but I don't think they could do it. But I abandoned that tack, and made a quick turnabout, in order to pursue another agenda that had a slightly higher possibility of benefiting me. I had started with a vicious character attack that had no other objective than destruction - now it was time for something more concrete. The quick turnabout and apology earned me some of my public opinion back.

I know my personal attack polarized the members, forcing some of them to take sides. That's the beginning of how you destroy a guild really : you need the first crack, some perceived unfairness, a difference of opinion, then try to get a complete polarizing of enough members that a split occurs. You have to choose two ideal focuses for the split : my target was ideal, a new person who had just joined, so not many people knew him -> yet he was a genuinely nice guy so those that knew him, would adamantly support him. While I was a senior member, respected for my skill yet had already earned some negative points for saying undiplomatic and controversial things against the leadership. In a sense, the focus isn't only on me vs him -> it's also me vs the leadership, since the leadership had to step in to defend him from my attacks.

The next agenda I am pursuing - which is of personal benefit and interest to me - is essentially a veiled threat with a demand that is couched in entirely reasonable terms, but impossible to fulfil in the light of what I just did.

It would have been reasonable on its own : but coming so soon on the heels of my last personal attack and outburst, giving in to it will condone my vicious behaviour, and even smell of manipulation, since I hinted that since I stopped the pursuit of my previous agenda and switched to this one, they had better fulfil this one.

The ironic part is that the original issue is deadly boring =p Some thing that probably makes absolutely no difference either way, to be perfectly honest. But, goodness me, these debates and attacks and manipulation, so fascinating, and you learn so much about people. And I am desperate to learn : just when you think you have seen everything, you find a new surprise.

So tonight the guild leadership has to read my request and then reject it publicly. There will inevitably be those that support me silently, and while my standing in the guild will not be improved, the standing of the leadership will go down no matter what option they choose. If they inexplicably, decide to honour my demands in the face of the vocal opposition, they're in for a lot of trouble. If they reject my demands, I will continue fight for this issue, and I am an important enough member that my opinion cannot be discounted out of hand. There is only one way to silence me, and that is to remove me entirely, and right at this moment that would be a sacrifice slightly too large for them to make. Though in my opinion I have no doubt at this point they could make that sacrifice and survive. I feel like the bad guy in the movies, which the good guys decide not to kill. =p Where you go, omg why don't they kill him, he's so evil and obviously going to come back and try to take over the world for the second time in the sequel.

Time to plan my next move perhaps. I don't mean ill for the guild : but no matter how this turns out, I think I will have benefitted, if only simply from knowing more about how these people think and react.