One of my hard drives just died.
It was the oldest one, it's more than 5 years old.
Due to the nature of how my computer is set up and the idiocy of the windows boot system, once I turn off my computer I will not be able to turn it on again.
(Old OS used to reside in D: and when I upgraded my computer the OS was rendered unusable -> so I installed a new copy of Windows in a new hard drive in order to access the data off D: -> but on bootup, the computer insists on checking D: first and then only going to the real boot drive)
So yeah, I'm sort of prepared for most contingencies. Some data is backed up. But 40 gigs of data is reasonably large amount. And in 5 years, you can only wonder at the kind of detritus that's accumulated there.
Uh oh. I think I lost my copy of Stepmania and all 10 anime / ddr music packs.
Saturday
reverse sexual imprinting
Westermarck effect. Was doing a bit of thinking about who we find attractive.
Then something more disturbing : GSA also makes an interesting read. Especially the irrelevant, but amusing Star Wars and Koi Kaze references.
Makes you wonder though. Everyone in the world is distantly related, somehow. People are fond of saying opposites attract. But more often than not it's people of the same feather who get together...
-~-
Followed up some links from Wiki, found some studies.
Study on children raised in Kirya Yedidim, an Isreal kibbutz - children from different families raised together at this facility from a young age : in the hope that they would grow up to marry each other.
Quote: Not only did they shower, sleep and run around naked together and explore each other's bodies, as they approached puberty they began openly to play sex games, including intimate kissing, fondling.
Quote: In a second phase of the study, when these children had grown up, it emerged that not only had no marriages taken place between any of the sabras from Kiryat Yedidim, and three other kibbutzim, but neither was there a single reported incident of sexual intercourse.
Sorry but I laughed at the, uhm failure =p
Another study, done on practices in China - a certain type of arranged marriage where the bride was sent away as a child to be raised alongside her future husband - was also a failure much in the same way that the Isreal kibbutz attempts were.
Quote: "If she came at three or younger, the sexual aversion and rate of marriage breakdown was very high. After five or six, there wasn't much difference between married couples who met at 16. There is some factor in developmental psychology during the first three years of life that seems critical in determining sexual attraction, but we don't know yet what this factor is."
Such a young age obviously hints towards physiological / psyschological effects rather than a social stigma : it's unconscious, and something you can't control anyway. It also seems targeted solely at a particular person : not a set of personality traits. IE you are turned off by the idea of getting together with a sibling, but if you met someone who fits enough criteria (remember GSA) it would be ok.
This effect being targeted solely at a particular person might hint at pheromone imprinting?
*gosh it's late, i should sleep*
Then something more disturbing : GSA also makes an interesting read. Especially the irrelevant, but amusing Star Wars and Koi Kaze references.
Makes you wonder though. Everyone in the world is distantly related, somehow. People are fond of saying opposites attract. But more often than not it's people of the same feather who get together...
-~-
Followed up some links from Wiki, found some studies.
Study on children raised in Kirya Yedidim, an Isreal kibbutz - children from different families raised together at this facility from a young age : in the hope that they would grow up to marry each other.
Quote: Not only did they shower, sleep and run around naked together and explore each other's bodies, as they approached puberty they began openly to play sex games, including intimate kissing, fondling.
Quote: In a second phase of the study, when these children had grown up, it emerged that not only had no marriages taken place between any of the sabras from Kiryat Yedidim, and three other kibbutzim, but neither was there a single reported incident of sexual intercourse.
Sorry but I laughed at the, uhm failure =p
Another study, done on practices in China - a certain type of arranged marriage where the bride was sent away as a child to be raised alongside her future husband - was also a failure much in the same way that the Isreal kibbutz attempts were.
Quote: "If she came at three or younger, the sexual aversion and rate of marriage breakdown was very high. After five or six, there wasn't much difference between married couples who met at 16. There is some factor in developmental psychology during the first three years of life that seems critical in determining sexual attraction, but we don't know yet what this factor is."
Such a young age obviously hints towards physiological / psyschological effects rather than a social stigma : it's unconscious, and something you can't control anyway. It also seems targeted solely at a particular person : not a set of personality traits. IE you are turned off by the idea of getting together with a sibling, but if you met someone who fits enough criteria (remember GSA) it would be ok.
This effect being targeted solely at a particular person might hint at pheromone imprinting?
*gosh it's late, i should sleep*
Friday
the meaning of it all
I finally got a sleight of hand routine right... starts by pulling a bunch of playing cards out of thin air, letting them flutter to the floor in a cascade of cards, then showing both sides of my palm to the audience (look, no tricks, empty palms, nothing on the back either!) then proceeding to pull a few more cards out of thin air =p
Such satisfaction =) This has pretty good visual impact, and is not too harsh on the angles. Surprisingly, needs strong fingers to pull it off, so I'll have to keep in practice.
-~-
My heart feels fluttery, like there are butterflies in my stomach. I've always associated that feeling with lack of delta sleep.
I'm paraphrasing a friend here. Males should never say stuff like this to females : "Oh let me show you my [insert pointy object here]". Doesn't matter if you actually do have a pointy object you wish to show them, it will invariably be taken the wrong way and result in awkward silences =p (the object in question, was a popsicle, which made it all the worse)
-~-
Would you do something self destructive if it made you happy? That is the question at the core of all addictions. At what price happiness and pleasure, and what criteria determines the difference between a healthy social hobby and an unhealthy addiction? I suppose one is selfish and one isn't : but there are always cases which blur the line.
All emotions are by their nature, relative. Consider a non-addictive mood heightener. It's non addictive, but by its very nature, due to the relativity of emotions, not taking it would result you feeling more down than the norm you are used to.
Would you embrace a religion that delivered happiness every day, but resulted in virtually no change in the actual quality of life you led? Would you take a pill that, had no side effects, except it made you happier for the next 24 hours?
So many people have said "why can't I be happy" without really understanding what happiness is.
I've always taken pleasure in constructive activities. I'm always determined to achieve something or master a skill.
That's why I've never of my own volition watched television or movies. Passive activities, see (what an oxymoron). But instead my favourite hobbies were writing and learning how to code in various computer languages, or painting, or drawing, or playing computer games. There is a sense of achievement, of building on previous experiences and watching your own improvement.
It's the same way you write stories. Every scene has to have meaning : some purpose, for it being there, driving the story forward or driving a point home. There was a section in a novel writing course - how to write effective sex scenes - that particularly emphasized this point. If you're going to write a sex scene, it has to be a pivotal and vital moment in the character development, it has to push the story forward, it has to force your characters to make decisions about themselves. I don't think any of us are in the soft core novel industry where gratitutous and pointless sex scenes are the norm =p
But even so. From my point of view, after I have watched a television show, I get a feeling of "so what? could have done something more useful". But if you judge everything in life so harshly by that criteria, you might as well not do anything at all. My own reasons for playing games - to excel at them and defeat others - are pretty trivial as well in the large scheme of things - though I want to argue, not as trivial as my reasons for watching an episode of Friends (err, for the sheer mindless pleasure of it?)
(OK I did watch Friends but I had fun with the company I watched it with and it was indeed a bonding experience so I am still justified =p But otherwise I would not have watched it alone, no way.)
Maybe I'm too calculative. Remember the "Neverending story" where the boy has the power to make wishes come true, but every time he makes a wish he sacrifices one memory? Taking that view on life is depressing -> you sacrifice time of your life in return for happiness, such a harsh trade (look at it this way : each cigarette you smoke costs you 10 minutes off your life expentancy =p but if that's the case it isn't too bad you know - writing this blog just cost me 30 minutes of my life, omg smoking 3 cigarettes)
I'm determined now that studying and working shall make me happy =p
-~-
(and I go on scrabbling at loose straws and tiny grains of sand, watching them slip through my fingers as I search for the meaning of it all, hoping it's still there when it's all over and done.
Such satisfaction =) This has pretty good visual impact, and is not too harsh on the angles. Surprisingly, needs strong fingers to pull it off, so I'll have to keep in practice.
-~-
My heart feels fluttery, like there are butterflies in my stomach. I've always associated that feeling with lack of delta sleep.
I'm paraphrasing a friend here. Males should never say stuff like this to females : "Oh let me show you my [insert pointy object here]". Doesn't matter if you actually do have a pointy object you wish to show them, it will invariably be taken the wrong way and result in awkward silences =p (the object in question, was a popsicle, which made it all the worse)
-~-
Would you do something self destructive if it made you happy? That is the question at the core of all addictions. At what price happiness and pleasure, and what criteria determines the difference between a healthy social hobby and an unhealthy addiction? I suppose one is selfish and one isn't : but there are always cases which blur the line.
All emotions are by their nature, relative. Consider a non-addictive mood heightener. It's non addictive, but by its very nature, due to the relativity of emotions, not taking it would result you feeling more down than the norm you are used to.
Would you embrace a religion that delivered happiness every day, but resulted in virtually no change in the actual quality of life you led? Would you take a pill that, had no side effects, except it made you happier for the next 24 hours?
So many people have said "why can't I be happy" without really understanding what happiness is.
I've always taken pleasure in constructive activities. I'm always determined to achieve something or master a skill.
That's why I've never of my own volition watched television or movies. Passive activities, see (what an oxymoron). But instead my favourite hobbies were writing and learning how to code in various computer languages, or painting, or drawing, or playing computer games. There is a sense of achievement, of building on previous experiences and watching your own improvement.
It's the same way you write stories. Every scene has to have meaning : some purpose, for it being there, driving the story forward or driving a point home. There was a section in a novel writing course - how to write effective sex scenes - that particularly emphasized this point. If you're going to write a sex scene, it has to be a pivotal and vital moment in the character development, it has to push the story forward, it has to force your characters to make decisions about themselves. I don't think any of us are in the soft core novel industry where gratitutous and pointless sex scenes are the norm =p
But even so. From my point of view, after I have watched a television show, I get a feeling of "so what? could have done something more useful". But if you judge everything in life so harshly by that criteria, you might as well not do anything at all. My own reasons for playing games - to excel at them and defeat others - are pretty trivial as well in the large scheme of things - though I want to argue, not as trivial as my reasons for watching an episode of Friends (err, for the sheer mindless pleasure of it?)
(OK I did watch Friends but I had fun with the company I watched it with and it was indeed a bonding experience so I am still justified =p But otherwise I would not have watched it alone, no way.)
Maybe I'm too calculative. Remember the "Neverending story" where the boy has the power to make wishes come true, but every time he makes a wish he sacrifices one memory? Taking that view on life is depressing -> you sacrifice time of your life in return for happiness, such a harsh trade (look at it this way : each cigarette you smoke costs you 10 minutes off your life expentancy =p but if that's the case it isn't too bad you know - writing this blog just cost me 30 minutes of my life, omg smoking 3 cigarettes)
I'm determined now that studying and working shall make me happy =p
-~-
(and I go on scrabbling at loose straws and tiny grains of sand, watching them slip through my fingers as I search for the meaning of it all, hoping it's still there when it's all over and done.
Thursday
don't let go...
I've come to realise a few more things.
Took a long walk home. The rain drenched streets always have a calming effect on me.
The smell of wet pavement.
The sparkle of street lamps, reflections of car lights off the rain slicked aphsalt.
The sharp, fresh wind, clean and unmarred by the city smog, the crystal clarity of the moon and stars. So soon after the rain, so late at night, there is nothing yet to mar the clean night air.
The sound of the wind rustling strongly through the treetops, blowing around me, tugging me this way and that. It rises to a dull roar, cascading down from the sky. But I stand unmoved, alone, in the calm at the eye of the storm.
I was alone. In the truest sense of the word, I realised that what I am now, from my deepest desires to my personality quirks, has been shaped by everything I have experienced before. What I am now is the sum total of my life experiences.
Life is unfair that way.
These words from the HP series come unbidden into my mind : It's not what you are, it's who you choose to be. I want to believe them, but it's all a matter of perspective : no two people will react to the same event the same way : and whether you choose option A or option B it would have been done with the knowledge that either you're seeking to repeat the same experience from the past, or avoid it. It's like the paradox of free will : from some perspectives, all our choices were already forced and preordained before we were born.
I don't want my life to repeat itself : yet I want the security of the things I had before.
I don't want the sad events to repeat themselves but I want see the happy ones again. But sometimes they are part of the same thing.
Took a long walk home. The rain drenched streets always have a calming effect on me.
The smell of wet pavement.
The sparkle of street lamps, reflections of car lights off the rain slicked aphsalt.
The sharp, fresh wind, clean and unmarred by the city smog, the crystal clarity of the moon and stars. So soon after the rain, so late at night, there is nothing yet to mar the clean night air.
The sound of the wind rustling strongly through the treetops, blowing around me, tugging me this way and that. It rises to a dull roar, cascading down from the sky. But I stand unmoved, alone, in the calm at the eye of the storm.
I was alone. In the truest sense of the word, I realised that what I am now, from my deepest desires to my personality quirks, has been shaped by everything I have experienced before. What I am now is the sum total of my life experiences.
Life is unfair that way.
These words from the HP series come unbidden into my mind : It's not what you are, it's who you choose to be. I want to believe them, but it's all a matter of perspective : no two people will react to the same event the same way : and whether you choose option A or option B it would have been done with the knowledge that either you're seeking to repeat the same experience from the past, or avoid it. It's like the paradox of free will : from some perspectives, all our choices were already forced and preordained before we were born.
I don't want my life to repeat itself : yet I want the security of the things I had before.
I don't want the sad events to repeat themselves but I want see the happy ones again. But sometimes they are part of the same thing.
Wednesday
i'm sure i've mused about this before
But it came up in last night's conversation. Observe people who are drunk. How do they act different from when they are sober. More people laugh more readily, why. Some act more melancholic, why. Some are quicker to anger, some are withdrawn. Let us exclude cases where people are physically incapacitated due to alcohol intolerance, we are only interested in the mental effects.
Hypothesis : Everyone's "exterior" breaks down when they are drunk and are in less control of their actions.
Therefore : if someone is drunk and their behaviour is not observed to have changed then there are 3 possible conclusions.
a. he has such good self control that he continues putting up his exterior personality
b. he doesn't exercise self control anyway when sober, so there is nothing to change
c. he is only pretending to be drunk
And that's why alcohol is so fascinating to me =p There is a possibility that people may let you know things they don't mean to. There was a girl once who danced with me, when we each had had a fair bit to drink, and I was very amused. =)
For the record my situation is always option c. for some reason =p Since I'm not arrogant enough to claim a. or b.
Hypothesis : Everyone's "exterior" breaks down when they are drunk and are in less control of their actions.
Therefore : if someone is drunk and their behaviour is not observed to have changed then there are 3 possible conclusions.
a. he has such good self control that he continues putting up his exterior personality
b. he doesn't exercise self control anyway when sober, so there is nothing to change
c. he is only pretending to be drunk
And that's why alcohol is so fascinating to me =p There is a possibility that people may let you know things they don't mean to. There was a girl once who danced with me, when we each had had a fair bit to drink, and I was very amused. =)
For the record my situation is always option c. for some reason =p Since I'm not arrogant enough to claim a. or b.
Tuesday
Wednesday
some musings on human behaviour
Two part post now, first some musings then a story about some online drama I am involved in.
It's misleading, how everything thinks they are right when they argue something. How do you know when you're truly right, when you have a watertight argument?
If there are any holes in your arguments, you will instantly get people jumping down your throat pointing them out. If people cannot find any factual loopholes to get you with, they will resort to making general blanket statements like "grow up" or else try to muddy the issue by bringing outside factors or issues to play.
Makes sense. In real life, it's the government opposition who are the most vocal, and the supporters playing the part of the silent majority. You never post up an issue for public discussion unless you deliberately desire negative responses, because you will almost never get positive responses.
There was a website once that catalogued all the ways you could argue and counter-argue something, but I'll be darned if I can remember what it was.
Quite often doing things wrongly teaches you more than doing things the right way. It might be worthwhile, after stumbling upon how to do things correctly, to deliberately do things wrongly the next time to see how it goes. There's probably just as much to be learned from mistakes as successes, as long as the price you have to pay for doing things the wrong way is within your budget.
----
I have just viciously attacked and hurt someone on an online forum, with so much venom that the forum moderator deleted my thread. I had a valid issue, there was an injustice done to me, and I blew it out of proportion and turned it into a vicious character assasination. The smart thing would have been to play the victim : instead I let loose everything I had on him. Everything I said was absolutely true : no one could rebutt anything I said : and here is the kicker - in the end I wanted the thread deleted, because even I don't believe that anyone deserves to have those things said about them, especially more so because they're all true. If they were false accusations I could just say "they're not true, I'm really sorry I said them, I didnt mean them" but in this case I could not - and so in retrospect, I am really glad the forum moderator deleted my post.
I did it in such a vicious manner that most members had no choice but to censor me for my actions, and the original valid issue was completely lost. But I had achieved my objective.
I don't post without careful forethought. There are ways and ways in which you can force people to do things without seeming to, ways in which you can turn a situation to your advantage.
As an aside - this person considered me his friend, mentor, and senior. The most fatal position to be in, really - he thinks I am his friend, but I don't think of him that way, and I know it.
Of course the best way to truly achieve vengeance is not to leave in disgust, but to stay, suck up to them and prove your loyalty, pretend to be friends until you are close enough to stab them in the back and deal the killing blow. Backing away and declaring you are enemies, pshaw, that's the easy way out, that only stupid and honourable people do. Why quit when you can stay and destroy them from the inside? Surely, they think, a friendship that survives an argument, has some substance and has to be more real than ever?
I had the opportunity to cause division and split within the guild. I only had to push a little further, and then I would have severely weakened the guild with the loss of this member. If the guild leadership had enough guts I think they should have chosen to sacrifice me instead, but I don't think they could do it. But I abandoned that tack, and made a quick turnabout, in order to pursue another agenda that had a slightly higher possibility of benefiting me. I had started with a vicious character attack that had no other objective than destruction - now it was time for something more concrete. The quick turnabout and apology earned me some of my public opinion back.
I know my personal attack polarized the members, forcing some of them to take sides. That's the beginning of how you destroy a guild really : you need the first crack, some perceived unfairness, a difference of opinion, then try to get a complete polarizing of enough members that a split occurs. You have to choose two ideal focuses for the split : my target was ideal, a new person who had just joined, so not many people knew him -> yet he was a genuinely nice guy so those that knew him, would adamantly support him. While I was a senior member, respected for my skill yet had already earned some negative points for saying undiplomatic and controversial things against the leadership. In a sense, the focus isn't only on me vs him -> it's also me vs the leadership, since the leadership had to step in to defend him from my attacks.
The next agenda I am pursuing - which is of personal benefit and interest to me - is essentially a veiled threat with a demand that is couched in entirely reasonable terms, but impossible to fulfil in the light of what I just did.
It would have been reasonable on its own : but coming so soon on the heels of my last personal attack and outburst, giving in to it will condone my vicious behaviour, and even smell of manipulation, since I hinted that since I stopped the pursuit of my previous agenda and switched to this one, they had better fulfil this one.
The ironic part is that the original issue is deadly boring =p Some thing that probably makes absolutely no difference either way, to be perfectly honest. But, goodness me, these debates and attacks and manipulation, so fascinating, and you learn so much about people. And I am desperate to learn : just when you think you have seen everything, you find a new surprise.
So tonight the guild leadership has to read my request and then reject it publicly. There will inevitably be those that support me silently, and while my standing in the guild will not be improved, the standing of the leadership will go down no matter what option they choose. If they inexplicably, decide to honour my demands in the face of the vocal opposition, they're in for a lot of trouble. If they reject my demands, I will continue fight for this issue, and I am an important enough member that my opinion cannot be discounted out of hand. There is only one way to silence me, and that is to remove me entirely, and right at this moment that would be a sacrifice slightly too large for them to make. Though in my opinion I have no doubt at this point they could make that sacrifice and survive. I feel like the bad guy in the movies, which the good guys decide not to kill. =p Where you go, omg why don't they kill him, he's so evil and obviously going to come back and try to take over the world for the second time in the sequel.
Time to plan my next move perhaps. I don't mean ill for the guild : but no matter how this turns out, I think I will have benefitted, if only simply from knowing more about how these people think and react.
It's misleading, how everything thinks they are right when they argue something. How do you know when you're truly right, when you have a watertight argument?
If there are any holes in your arguments, you will instantly get people jumping down your throat pointing them out. If people cannot find any factual loopholes to get you with, they will resort to making general blanket statements like "grow up" or else try to muddy the issue by bringing outside factors or issues to play.
Makes sense. In real life, it's the government opposition who are the most vocal, and the supporters playing the part of the silent majority. You never post up an issue for public discussion unless you deliberately desire negative responses, because you will almost never get positive responses.
There was a website once that catalogued all the ways you could argue and counter-argue something, but I'll be darned if I can remember what it was.
Quite often doing things wrongly teaches you more than doing things the right way. It might be worthwhile, after stumbling upon how to do things correctly, to deliberately do things wrongly the next time to see how it goes. There's probably just as much to be learned from mistakes as successes, as long as the price you have to pay for doing things the wrong way is within your budget.
----
I have just viciously attacked and hurt someone on an online forum, with so much venom that the forum moderator deleted my thread. I had a valid issue, there was an injustice done to me, and I blew it out of proportion and turned it into a vicious character assasination. The smart thing would have been to play the victim : instead I let loose everything I had on him. Everything I said was absolutely true : no one could rebutt anything I said : and here is the kicker - in the end I wanted the thread deleted, because even I don't believe that anyone deserves to have those things said about them, especially more so because they're all true. If they were false accusations I could just say "they're not true, I'm really sorry I said them, I didnt mean them" but in this case I could not - and so in retrospect, I am really glad the forum moderator deleted my post.
I did it in such a vicious manner that most members had no choice but to censor me for my actions, and the original valid issue was completely lost. But I had achieved my objective.
I don't post without careful forethought. There are ways and ways in which you can force people to do things without seeming to, ways in which you can turn a situation to your advantage.
As an aside - this person considered me his friend, mentor, and senior. The most fatal position to be in, really - he thinks I am his friend, but I don't think of him that way, and I know it.
Of course the best way to truly achieve vengeance is not to leave in disgust, but to stay, suck up to them and prove your loyalty, pretend to be friends until you are close enough to stab them in the back and deal the killing blow. Backing away and declaring you are enemies, pshaw, that's the easy way out, that only stupid and honourable people do. Why quit when you can stay and destroy them from the inside? Surely, they think, a friendship that survives an argument, has some substance and has to be more real than ever?
I had the opportunity to cause division and split within the guild. I only had to push a little further, and then I would have severely weakened the guild with the loss of this member. If the guild leadership had enough guts I think they should have chosen to sacrifice me instead, but I don't think they could do it. But I abandoned that tack, and made a quick turnabout, in order to pursue another agenda that had a slightly higher possibility of benefiting me. I had started with a vicious character attack that had no other objective than destruction - now it was time for something more concrete. The quick turnabout and apology earned me some of my public opinion back.
I know my personal attack polarized the members, forcing some of them to take sides. That's the beginning of how you destroy a guild really : you need the first crack, some perceived unfairness, a difference of opinion, then try to get a complete polarizing of enough members that a split occurs. You have to choose two ideal focuses for the split : my target was ideal, a new person who had just joined, so not many people knew him -> yet he was a genuinely nice guy so those that knew him, would adamantly support him. While I was a senior member, respected for my skill yet had already earned some negative points for saying undiplomatic and controversial things against the leadership. In a sense, the focus isn't only on me vs him -> it's also me vs the leadership, since the leadership had to step in to defend him from my attacks.
The next agenda I am pursuing - which is of personal benefit and interest to me - is essentially a veiled threat with a demand that is couched in entirely reasonable terms, but impossible to fulfil in the light of what I just did.
It would have been reasonable on its own : but coming so soon on the heels of my last personal attack and outburst, giving in to it will condone my vicious behaviour, and even smell of manipulation, since I hinted that since I stopped the pursuit of my previous agenda and switched to this one, they had better fulfil this one.
The ironic part is that the original issue is deadly boring =p Some thing that probably makes absolutely no difference either way, to be perfectly honest. But, goodness me, these debates and attacks and manipulation, so fascinating, and you learn so much about people. And I am desperate to learn : just when you think you have seen everything, you find a new surprise.
So tonight the guild leadership has to read my request and then reject it publicly. There will inevitably be those that support me silently, and while my standing in the guild will not be improved, the standing of the leadership will go down no matter what option they choose. If they inexplicably, decide to honour my demands in the face of the vocal opposition, they're in for a lot of trouble. If they reject my demands, I will continue fight for this issue, and I am an important enough member that my opinion cannot be discounted out of hand. There is only one way to silence me, and that is to remove me entirely, and right at this moment that would be a sacrifice slightly too large for them to make. Though in my opinion I have no doubt at this point they could make that sacrifice and survive. I feel like the bad guy in the movies, which the good guys decide not to kill. =p Where you go, omg why don't they kill him, he's so evil and obviously going to come back and try to take over the world for the second time in the sequel.
Time to plan my next move perhaps. I don't mean ill for the guild : but no matter how this turns out, I think I will have benefitted, if only simply from knowing more about how these people think and react.
Tuesday
Bizarre marketing strategy
I just ate a pretty good ice cream... it was about 50% ice cream and 50% choc / biscuit crunchy mix.
Then I look at the wrapper to check the brand.
It's called... Golden Gaytime.
Suddenly the ice cream doesn't taste so good.
Then I look at the wrapper to check the brand.
It's called... Golden Gaytime.
Suddenly the ice cream doesn't taste so good.
Monday
more observations
One sat on my right. Lets call her A. Now this one has a cute face, and careful use of blusher, was really effective =p
She had a shawl tied into her hair in a really cool way. Which to my regret I could not identify how it was done. Basically it looked like a band of color in her hair, and tied with a fancy bit hanging off one side of her head, under her long hair. A good long black coat, smart. Unremarkable top, but it wasn't bad, otherwise I would have taken note =p
She's got the moves down close to perfect, as I have seen a precious few times in girls. The slight cant of her head, the sideways glance, through the hair falling softly across her features. She's got an entrancing smile : you can feel the satisfaction coming off her =p
Her sister. Is two years younger. On my left. She's got even prettier facial features, which is saying something. But still, oh so young and childlike. Wonder what she will be like in a few years. But she's not quite there yet, as far as keeping up appearances go. Her hair isn't as well kept, some stray strands here and there, and looking just slightly on the dry side. I didn't think her top suited her very well : pastel type colors with a thin shoulder strap, very body fitting. Oddest of all was the red bra straps. Inexplicable. That's just wrong. She was wearing a bulky pink jacket, further emphasizing her child-like image.
Another girl, lets call her C. Sorry but perhaps you should keep your jacket on, or else not go for strapless tops. Broad shoulders, perhaps from years of swimming : not so attractive, in a culture used to petite and miniature looking female bodies. But everyone has different ideas of what they like, really, so grats on being different. Remarkably cool earrings, a stream of sparkly pretty pink butterflies cascading from her ears, who wouldn't fall in love with that, male or female? =p
Oh and they all had the most amazing handbags. And shoes. But they defy description =p One thing's for sure : they're all rich. Beyond. My. Imagination.
So many observations. No one to tell them to. No one that cares, really. So I blog =p
She had a shawl tied into her hair in a really cool way. Which to my regret I could not identify how it was done. Basically it looked like a band of color in her hair, and tied with a fancy bit hanging off one side of her head, under her long hair. A good long black coat, smart. Unremarkable top, but it wasn't bad, otherwise I would have taken note =p
She's got the moves down close to perfect, as I have seen a precious few times in girls. The slight cant of her head, the sideways glance, through the hair falling softly across her features. She's got an entrancing smile : you can feel the satisfaction coming off her =p
Her sister. Is two years younger. On my left. She's got even prettier facial features, which is saying something. But still, oh so young and childlike. Wonder what she will be like in a few years. But she's not quite there yet, as far as keeping up appearances go. Her hair isn't as well kept, some stray strands here and there, and looking just slightly on the dry side. I didn't think her top suited her very well : pastel type colors with a thin shoulder strap, very body fitting. Oddest of all was the red bra straps. Inexplicable. That's just wrong. She was wearing a bulky pink jacket, further emphasizing her child-like image.
Another girl, lets call her C. Sorry but perhaps you should keep your jacket on, or else not go for strapless tops. Broad shoulders, perhaps from years of swimming : not so attractive, in a culture used to petite and miniature looking female bodies. But everyone has different ideas of what they like, really, so grats on being different. Remarkably cool earrings, a stream of sparkly pretty pink butterflies cascading from her ears, who wouldn't fall in love with that, male or female? =p
Oh and they all had the most amazing handbags. And shoes. But they defy description =p One thing's for sure : they're all rich. Beyond. My. Imagination.
So many observations. No one to tell them to. No one that cares, really. So I blog =p
Sunday
seriously WTF
Grabbed from MeFi
Man Jailed for Boy-Sex Stories
IN WHAT is considered a Territory first, a man has been sent to jail for possessing fictional text stories about sex with children.
[snip]
"It should be obvious to any person that material like this is legally and morally wrong and taboo in the Northern Territory and Australia generally," the magistrate said.
Mr Trigg said the danger of the stories was they "create the perception that this might be acceptable."
"There is also the potential that the written word may encourage someone to act out what they've read," he said.
[snip]
Harry Potter slash fiction comes to mind.
So what... there are thousands of novels in which murders takes place... so we should ban those as well and jail the authors and anyone who possess those books?
This feels like something out of 1984. Thoughtcrime from 1984, and Precrime from the Minority Report = )
Man Jailed for Boy-Sex Stories
IN WHAT is considered a Territory first, a man has been sent to jail for possessing fictional text stories about sex with children.
[snip]
"It should be obvious to any person that material like this is legally and morally wrong and taboo in the Northern Territory and Australia generally," the magistrate said.
Mr Trigg said the danger of the stories was they "create the perception that this might be acceptable."
"There is also the potential that the written word may encourage someone to act out what they've read," he said.
[snip]
Harry Potter slash fiction comes to mind.
So what... there are thousands of novels in which murders takes place... so we should ban those as well and jail the authors and anyone who possess those books?
This feels like something out of 1984. Thoughtcrime from 1984, and Precrime from the Minority Report = )
Thursday
repost day
The Leidenfrost Effect is a pretty cool science article I linked two years ago, on a previous blog. It's still a good read, I looked it up again when I saw a semi related post on MeFi.
If only the science we studied in class was as engaging as this, eh.
If only the science we studied in class was as engaging as this, eh.
phew
The presentation went okay : I accidentally stumbled upon the correct resolution to the case study even though none of us knew where we were heading.
It was very awkward. What my lecturer said is very true : it's disconcerting being given a study of a company in severe financial difficulty, and attempting to craft a presentation together for potential investors to convince them to put up more money into this venture, or trying to attempt negotiations with their creditors to buy a litle more time before the company goes insolvent.
It was very awkward. What my lecturer said is very true : it's disconcerting being given a study of a company in severe financial difficulty, and attempting to craft a presentation together for potential investors to convince them to put up more money into this venture, or trying to attempt negotiations with their creditors to buy a litle more time before the company goes insolvent.
Tuesday
a relaxed state of high alertness?
I realised just how much I miss proper competitive gaming.
The thrill of knowing how good you are, as your eyes quickly scan the barrage of images and information scrolling across the screen, the Vent chatter coming thick and fast though your headset. The thrill of wanting to dominate and humiliate the opponent. The thrill of knowing there is a living breathing thinking mind behind the actions of your enemy, that can be predicted and manipulated.
Times like this my mind crosses a boundary. Hypersensitivity. Being balanced on a knife's edge. A relaxed state of high alertness. If you're too relaxed your response times drop. If you're too tense, your response times also drop - and you might react to false stimuli that you're not supposed to. Hence the slight shakes and twitches in my hands - it's like a tightly wound spring ready to pounce, yet I cannot afford to hold it together with tension or I risk holding it back when I need the quick response.
World of Warcraft is too slow paced for me. Never felt the need to ramp up my reaction and mental processing times, not even once. You only need to do so when facing human opponents, when split second reaction time matters : when you have to change tactics multiple times in a single fight, when you get the "oh shit" feeling of finding out the enemy team already knows how to counter your strategy.
I am very seriously considering quitting. >_<
The thrill of knowing how good you are, as your eyes quickly scan the barrage of images and information scrolling across the screen, the Vent chatter coming thick and fast though your headset. The thrill of wanting to dominate and humiliate the opponent. The thrill of knowing there is a living breathing thinking mind behind the actions of your enemy, that can be predicted and manipulated.
Times like this my mind crosses a boundary. Hypersensitivity. Being balanced on a knife's edge. A relaxed state of high alertness. If you're too relaxed your response times drop. If you're too tense, your response times also drop - and you might react to false stimuli that you're not supposed to. Hence the slight shakes and twitches in my hands - it's like a tightly wound spring ready to pounce, yet I cannot afford to hold it together with tension or I risk holding it back when I need the quick response.
World of Warcraft is too slow paced for me. Never felt the need to ramp up my reaction and mental processing times, not even once. You only need to do so when facing human opponents, when split second reaction time matters : when you have to change tactics multiple times in a single fight, when you get the "oh shit" feeling of finding out the enemy team already knows how to counter your strategy.
I am very seriously considering quitting. >_<
Monday
first impressions
First impressions count for a lot I guess. Everything about her outfit felt very deliberate and careful. (by the way, ash, this post is for you : I know you like stuff like this =p)
I am lucky, in retrospect, that I was semi dressed up as well : good quality material shirt and pants, with a reasonably smart looking jacket. The shirt was made of the kind of thin shimmery material that causes your skin to tingle, and is pretty cool to look at. I need a more formal jacket at some point though.
Well, this isn't about me. She was wearing a strapless white top, modestly covered with an ordinary looking brown jacket. Matched her shoes, now those looked really cool. Can't really explain, they were a unique design that I had never seen before. Jeans skirt, long wood themed beaded earrings. Her long black hair looked great - you know, luscious not oily, just healthy, with a good bounce to it. And layered just the way I like it too =p And she had a pair of shades pushed up above her forehead to complete the look.
She carries herself well, speaks with a maturity beyond her age. I compliment her lip gloss, and she gets thrown off completely. It suits her : with her fair complexion, she was using mild shiny silver glitter gloss. Not many girls can pull that off effectively : it's one of my favourite colors. A more experienced or older girl would have hid her surprise and smoothly taken the compliment. Ah well, my fault there, will keep in mind for the future. We chat about the common topics : lack of potential guys at her all female boarding house, shopping in the city, family, residential options. She pulls out her tube and brushes on another layer of lip gloss after she finishes her ice cream.
Eating the ice cream calls attention to the fact that she could probably stand to lose a few pounds. Maybe the difference is more obvious, since I haven't seen her for 4 years now. Perhaps we're all too used to the stereotype of painfully thin Asian girls.
She slyly asks me to take her clubbing, and I dance around the question, turning it elsewhere. One telling point I pick up : she tells me her relationships with guys never last long. Because she gets tired of them and tells them to leave her alone =p They all bore her eventually, she says. My ears prick up.
That's exactly the cousin I know.
( hah, gotcha =p )
We've known each other forever, but I never really bothered getting to know to her properly, since we lived worlds apart. Our paths in life are pretty much chosen by our parents, and her parents chose a vastly different life for her. I could never imagine being able to relate to her.
But now, perhaps, things are different. We've both grown up, and, in this place thousands of miles from home, living away from our parents, we finally have enough things in common that we can start being friends.
I am lucky, in retrospect, that I was semi dressed up as well : good quality material shirt and pants, with a reasonably smart looking jacket. The shirt was made of the kind of thin shimmery material that causes your skin to tingle, and is pretty cool to look at. I need a more formal jacket at some point though.
Well, this isn't about me. She was wearing a strapless white top, modestly covered with an ordinary looking brown jacket. Matched her shoes, now those looked really cool. Can't really explain, they were a unique design that I had never seen before. Jeans skirt, long wood themed beaded earrings. Her long black hair looked great - you know, luscious not oily, just healthy, with a good bounce to it. And layered just the way I like it too =p And she had a pair of shades pushed up above her forehead to complete the look.
She carries herself well, speaks with a maturity beyond her age. I compliment her lip gloss, and she gets thrown off completely. It suits her : with her fair complexion, she was using mild shiny silver glitter gloss. Not many girls can pull that off effectively : it's one of my favourite colors. A more experienced or older girl would have hid her surprise and smoothly taken the compliment. Ah well, my fault there, will keep in mind for the future. We chat about the common topics : lack of potential guys at her all female boarding house, shopping in the city, family, residential options. She pulls out her tube and brushes on another layer of lip gloss after she finishes her ice cream.
Eating the ice cream calls attention to the fact that she could probably stand to lose a few pounds. Maybe the difference is more obvious, since I haven't seen her for 4 years now. Perhaps we're all too used to the stereotype of painfully thin Asian girls.
She slyly asks me to take her clubbing, and I dance around the question, turning it elsewhere. One telling point I pick up : she tells me her relationships with guys never last long. Because she gets tired of them and tells them to leave her alone =p They all bore her eventually, she says. My ears prick up.
That's exactly the cousin I know.
( hah, gotcha =p )
We've known each other forever, but I never really bothered getting to know to her properly, since we lived worlds apart. Our paths in life are pretty much chosen by our parents, and her parents chose a vastly different life for her. I could never imagine being able to relate to her.
But now, perhaps, things are different. We've both grown up, and, in this place thousands of miles from home, living away from our parents, we finally have enough things in common that we can start being friends.
Sunday
Wired 14.04: Geekonomics
Comment which I have to agree with :
In this way, the process of becoming an effective World of Warcraft guild master amounts to a total-immersion course in leadership. A guild is a collection of players who come together to share knowledge, resources, and manpower. To run a large one, a guild master must be adept at many skills: attracting, evaluating, and recruiting new members; creating apprenticeship programs; orchestrating group strategy; and adjudicating disputes. Guilds routinely splinter over petty squabbles and other basic failures of management; the master must resolve them without losing valuable members, who can easily quit and join a rival guild. Never mind the virtual surroundings; these conditions provide real-world training a manager can apply directly in the workplace.
link
I sit and observe. I don't have the desire for leadership. But from where I stand, I can more clearly see the mistakes made. And I hope to learn from them. And I know that if I were to be put into that position, I'd be able to do a pretty damn good job of it. I've made my share of friends and enemies, but I've nonetheless gained their respect.
In this way, the process of becoming an effective World of Warcraft guild master amounts to a total-immersion course in leadership. A guild is a collection of players who come together to share knowledge, resources, and manpower. To run a large one, a guild master must be adept at many skills: attracting, evaluating, and recruiting new members; creating apprenticeship programs; orchestrating group strategy; and adjudicating disputes. Guilds routinely splinter over petty squabbles and other basic failures of management; the master must resolve them without losing valuable members, who can easily quit and join a rival guild. Never mind the virtual surroundings; these conditions provide real-world training a manager can apply directly in the workplace.
link
I sit and observe. I don't have the desire for leadership. But from where I stand, I can more clearly see the mistakes made. And I hope to learn from them. And I know that if I were to be put into that position, I'd be able to do a pretty damn good job of it. I've made my share of friends and enemies, but I've nonetheless gained their respect.
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